No Such Thing | | Cast : | Robert John Burke, Sarah Polley | | Director : | Hal Hartley | | Studio : | MGM/UA Video | | Format : | Color, Closed-captioned, Widescreen, Dolby | | Released Date : | January 01, 2001 | | DVD Released Date : | February 04, 2003 | | Language : | English (Dubbed), English (Subtitled), Spanish (Subtitled), French (Subtitled) | | Audience Rating : | R (Restricted) | | | BUY THIS DVD FROM AMAZON |
Customer Reviews
| Rating |  | | Date | June 13, 2005 | | Summary | We Need Our Monsters, Whether We Like it or Not | Content
 | I can't remember how this film ended up in my hands (maybe a friend recommended it), but I won't ever let it go now. There is endless speculation here at Amazon.com about "what this films meanings are", and after viewing it several times, I might (and that's an awfully big "MIGHT") be able to add my two cents. But first, let me tell you briefly what this sucker's all about:
Beatrice (Sarah Polley), a nobody reporter for an obscure media magnate, is sent to Iceland to speak with the natives of a distant village about their belief that an ancient monster lives in an abandoned missile silo somewhere near their dwellings. On her way to Iceland many strange things happen to Beatrice: her purse gets stolen by a dark and sinister looking female drug addict, shadows lurk around corners, and Beatrice begins to feel that evil is not too far away from her. And she's right. Her plane crashes into the Atlantic Ocean and she is the only survivor. After many, many months of therapy (and going through an oddball spinal operation that involves excruciating pain that causes her to black out), she's finally able to make it to the Icelandic village ...and soon discovers that the monster is REAL!
Robert John Burke (Robo Cop 3 and Tombstone) plays the monster who's been around since "humans crawled out of the primordial ooze." He's a sarcastic, burned out monster who's only hope is that he'll die one of these millennia and be put out of his misery of watching the human race devour itself. He's an excellent character who you just love listening to, his voice a slow cadence contained within a body who's personality swings from depression to wrath in the blink of an eye. And when Beatrice offers to help him end his life of suffering, he reluctantly agrees to go along with her (nothing has worked up until this point, so the monster has serious doubts that anyone can kill him).
When Beatrice brings him back to civilization, a media frenzy ensues. A REAL monster! Newspapers, TV, radio, they're eating it up! But the monster doesn't want any of that. He wants to be away from these gnats of humanity. But even more sinister things are afoot. The military wants to examine him to find out why he's so indestructible. The media wants to make a "Beauty and the Beast" story out of him and Beatrice. And terrible people are using their fear of him to do awful things to the monster (like beating him up and peeing on him).
Finally, Beatrice finds a scientist who proposes his method of ending the monsters existence. And a rush to end his life before anyone can stop them takes place. Can science really kill our monsters? What happens if you kill off the last monster in the world? Can we live without them?
The amazing thing about this film is that it makes you think, laugh, cry, and shiver, often in the same scene. Incredible scripting.
So what about my two cents? I think this films main focus is on the monsters in our lives and how we perceive them, and what would happen if we killed them all off. It would change the very fabric of who we are. Could you imagine a world without Dracula? Or Frankenstein? Or that little furry monster that lived under you bed when you were eight years old? What would happen to us if they never existed in our thoughts and imaginations? Is THAT a more terrible fate than actually having a real one living in an abandoned missile silo?
As crazy as this concept may sound, the movie gives implicit meaning to it by showing us Beatrice's encounter with the drugged-out purse stealer, her plane crash, her suffering through horrific pain during spinal surgery, and her eventual understanding of how important some demons are in our lives.
A fantastic film. A+ |
| Rating | | | Date | June 06, 2005 | | Summary | Recommended | Content
| Imagine that the original "Outer Limits" folks remade "King Kong" in their standard monster style and you have a good idea of "No Such Thing's" look and feel. Then throw in a little "Mighty Joe Young" banter, "Beauty and the Beast fashions", and "The Song of Bernadette" for good measure.
The film is a stylistic masterpiece and the banter between the beast and Beatrice (Sarah Polley) is surreal comedy at its best. If you enjoy quirky and subtly off-kilter films then the superficial story of "No Such Thing" will be a real pleasure in itself. Don't let frustration over the underlying meaning ruin the fun during the first viewing-just go with it.
The DVD does not contain a director's commentary so the viewer is left to speculate on just what this thing is really about; what themes Hartley is serious about and to what degree the obvious themes are just there for parody and laughs.
My retrospective take is that it is about the interplay of evolution and intelligent design, with the monster an accidental artifact left over from creation. God expected humankind to have evolved beyond its fear and hate state long before now, making the monster irrelevant. When that did not happen God became disillusioned with humankind, both he and the monster are basically bored with the stupidity they see.
God decides to intervene so the monster can go away and be put out of it's misery. He chooses Beatrice for this mission and she goes through a miracle survival experience to heighten her appreciation for life and to give her a distanced perspective free of fear and hate. Sarah Polley is perfectly cast as Beatrice; her Beatrice is somehow both detached and expressive. If you enjoy Polley you will love this character. |
| Rating | | | Date | May 24, 2005 | | Summary | Unique, engaging, and fresh approach to the "Grendel" story | Content
| I have to disagree with kathryn and the other reviewers. Hartley films are often baffling, if only because his dialog and staging is so clearly an artifice. Strip away the "Hartley touch," here, and you get a really striking hit and run satire on the nature of mythic "monster" against contemporary terrorism, mindless media, and soul-sucking heartlessness. Take the mythic monster, based I suppose on John Gardiner's Grendel and others, give him a voice and perspective that is both familiar and strange, and then take him to New York to be a media darling. Laughable material in another's hands, but Hartley carries you along, and suspends belief for the length. Polley and Burke are great, Mirren and Christie ... well, I'd watch a film of either of them just sitting and eating spaghetti. Here, Mirren is incredible. Too bad Julie Christie isn't given more to do.... But after watching this twice in as many months, I'm ready to buy it. It's just that good a film. Your mileage may vary. But take a chance on it. Turn the lights low, pop some popcorn, and settle back in a truly unique "monster movie." ;) |
| Rating | | | Date | March 22, 2004 | | Summary | Curious, indeed | Content
| I'm a big Hal Hartley fan, even though a lot of his movies leave me perplexed... maybe that's what I admire. But 'No Such Thing' left too much unspoken & I was left drop jawed & alone at the end of this one. The idea is intriguing- a real life monster, the only of his kind, who swills wine, kills humans, speaks English- yet lives in obscurity off the chilly coast of Iceland- meets a young, naive yet strangely wise, girl named Beatrice who has set off to find her fiance- reportedly eaten/attacked by the monster. During her journey she meets with pain & sacrifice which puts her at an advantage with the monster. Hartley's satire turns them into media darlings for their '15 minutes,' until they find the only doctor who can kill the monster. The final scenes of the movie are rushed & confused & the ending is dissappointing at best. I still recommend it for those looking for new approaches to storytelling & film- just be prepared for an ending that leaves you to make your own conclusions. |
| Rating | | | Date | March 04, 2004 | | Summary | Not just for Hartley fans | Content
| While reading the reviews for this film I was surprised that everyone says that you need to be a Hal Hartley fan to enjoy it. I had never seen any Hartley films before I stumbled upon this one, but I instantly loved it. It is interesting for the fact that most people never see movies like this. No Such Thing is so absurd and creative that I feel many people could enjoy it. I ended up liking this movie so much that I decided to buy it before even seeing any of Hartley's other films.(Which I am going to do based on the power of this film) |
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