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'The Loft': Movie Review
By SP_COP on January 30, 2015 | From www.nydailynews.com
'The Loft': Movie Review Hollywood adds to its trend of awful throwbacks to trashy '90s movies with "The Loft."

The sleazy dramatic thriller which feels like decade-old dreck such as "Just Cause," "Sliver" and "Shattered" follows Jennifer Lopez's "The Boy Next Door," which channeled "Deceived" and "Sleeping with the Enemy." This one comes with hoot-able dialogue courtesy screenwriter Wesley Strick ("Cape Fear," "Final Analysis"), like, "I take chances, especially when holding a handful of hearts!"

Five charmless cads are questioned by detectives after a *** female corpse is found handcuffed to a bed in a loft. When the quartet find the body, they meet to discuss what to do before calling the police.

Vince (Karl Urban) is an architect, and coincidence! the "architect" of a plan we see in flashback, setting up the condo loft for he and his pals to bring women to. Chris (James Marsden), a shrink with permanent 5 o'clock stubble, is hesitant, but Chris's thuggish half-brother Philip (Matthias Schoenaerts) and Marty (Eric Stonestreet), a "pudgy clown," as he's called, are down with it. Luke (Wentworth Miller) is tall and quiet, but has a deep well of horndog. "We're men," one of the wannabe players says. "We're all a little like that."

Chris eventually becomes involved with a call girl, Anne (Rachael Taylor), which leads to his comically stunned "...What?!" after she shouts at him, "I'm a whore! I'm a prostitute! I f--- men for money!" Meanwhile, Vince falls for Sarah (Isabel Lucas), whom he meets at a party, and just-married Philip continues his tom-cattin' ways. The "pudgy clown" just goes on being one of the most unappealing characters ever put on film.

Twists emerge when, in yet more flashbacks, we hear Anne's main client, a "powerful city councilman," say a Latin quote next to the blond corpse had been a Latin phrase smeared in blood! Was he the killer? Or what about Luke, who's been video recording all the guys' extramarital meetings? Philip is always violent, and Vince is always angry. They all could be suspects, and all start to suspect each other.

"Murder on the Orient Express," this ain't....
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'The Loft': Movie Review
SP_COP - January 30, 2015 - www.nydailynews.com
Hollywood adds to its trend of awful throwbacks to trashy '90s movies with "The Loft."The sleazy dramatic thriller which feels like decade-old dreck such as "Just Cause," "Sliver" and "Shattered" ...
© Retna
© Universal Pictures
© Retna
© Universal Pictures
© Retna
© Universal Pictures

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