| Armageddon | | Cast : | Bruce Willis, Billy Bob Thornton, Ben Affleck, Liv Tyler | | Director : | Michael Bay | | Studio : | Touchstone Video | | Format : | Color, Closed-captioned, Widescreen, Dolby | | Released Date : | July 01, 1998 | | DVD Released Date : | April 20, 1999 | | Language : | English (Dubbed), English (Subtitled), English (Original Language) | | Audience Rating : | Unrated | | | BUY THIS DVD FROM AMAZON |
Customer Reviews
| Rating |  | | Date | August 06, 2005 | | Summary | Suddenly the end of the world seems like a good idea. | Content
 | Before I start on this crud, let me just say that The Curmudgeon is NOT a movie snob. It doesn't have to be black and white with subtitles for me to love it. I love big, dumb action movies as much as anyone - good, big dumb action movies. Arnie movies (well, some) spring to mind, or Face Off - dumb as a bag of rocks, but still cool.
Then there's this. It's dumb, it's loud - and it's really, really BAD.
So the world's going to end, a big meteor is gonna come smashing into earth. Who ya gonna call? Er, Bruce Willis, Ben Affleck and Steve Buscemi, amongst others. Not my immediate choice, but Bruce and Steve can pretty much do no wrong in my eyes (well, until this..) so fair enough.
To say the script is piffle would be too nice. It is full of some of the most overblown, mawkish drivel I've ever heard (the "Animal Shapes" scene has to be seen to be believed) and any film, ANY, that succeeds in making Steve Buscemi annoying(!) is just plain evil in my books.
There's not many films that have you wishing for a big rock to smash into the earth and end it all. This is one of them.
The_Curmudgeon_Hates_You@yahoo.co.uk |
| Rating | | | Date | August 03, 2005 | | Summary | WHY DO I GIVE THIS ONE STAR? | Content
| Because Zero Stars is not an option. This film is garbage in the Criterion Collection. I cannot understand why Criterion would put Michael Bay's run-of-the-mill hollywood brainless summer blockbuster movies (Yes they even took on "The Rock") on the same page as Fellini, Renoir, Goddard, Hitchcock, Bergman, etc. This is an insult to film as art (which I thought Criterion was dedicated to). And I'm not pretentious, I'm just stating the obvious. Why does Criterion pick up this movie and not other recent movies much more worthy of the Criterion label--Paul Thomas Anderson's movies for example (esp. Magnolia)? Or even Darren Aronofsy's work (esp. Pi)? The list goes on... this is ridiculous! |
| Rating | | | Date | July 13, 2005 | | Summary | Overrated | Content
| I really did not like this film. Something supernatural like this happening is not totally un-likely, but the chances are quite slim. Most of this movie was situated tightly on the romance Liv Tyler and Ben Affleck had. The two "love-birds" turned this movie into a semi-chick flick movement, when in reality an enormous comet was supposed to wipe out the earth. Michael Bay truly disappoints with this film. His directing style is poor, as he literally believes that an edit every second is the best way to make a film. I don't think it's possible to physically count the number of cuts and explosions in his films within one human lifetime. The guy can't even make a decent movie with the insane budget he gets to work with. Honestly guys, stick to what's worth seeing, which isn't this movie. |
| Rating | | | Date | June 27, 2005 | | Summary | For What It's Worth | Content
| If you can suspend all scientific plausibility and believe that the US Government is competent and ready, you might enjoy this film if... if you don't mind having every heartstring mercilessly tugged as 8 Texas wildcatters with "the wrong stuff" set off to save the world from an imminent collision with an asteroid. There are lots of stars in Armageddon's firmament; who doesn't like pretty Liv Tyler, macho Bruce Willis, homely Steve Bucemi, or sensitive Owen Wilson. Unfortunately, they are all prone to camp, over-act, and wisecrack in this opus.
This isn't the worst film ever made. It has funny moments and some neat effects. If you like the 'bad disaster movie' genre, go see this.
If you are a serious film fan, however, beware: Armageddon has a really cliche soundtrack among it's many other cliches. As the lead puppet in "Team America" sings, "Why does Michael Bey get to keep on makin' moooovies???" |
| Rating | | | Date | May 04, 2005 | | Summary | I'd rather watch paint dry... | Content
| I find it truly amazing anyone could give this film anything more than 1 star (the lowest, unfortunately, Amazon allows). It really is a ZERO star flick. There is NOTHING about this film, in my opinion, that is good. Nothing!
Michael Bay's "technique" is so totally awful. Not just this, ALL of his films. The fact this guy is "allowed" to make films at all in Hollyweird just goes to show ya that "talent" and "creativity" have little to do with whether films get to the big screen or not. Michael Bay is a HORRIBLE "director." Simply horrible. I haven't seen (thank the Lord, whatever you may conceive him/her to be) all of his films), but if you catch "Pearl Harbor," another of his horrors, you'll notice that this guy is IN LUST with close ups, shaky camera, shaky camera close ups, fast TV commercial-like cuts and editing, and more and more and more and more of the same. Is all of this supposed to add up to enjoyable film entertainment? I think not, unless you're all crystal-methed up or something.
The story and characters are so cardboard cut-out, and all of it is so annoying, one hardly knows where to begin to diss this mess. But I won't even try. And do you know why?
It's because this is LOWEST COMMON DENOMINATOR filmmaking. And lots of folks will love this crap, not knowing any better (Forgive them Lord, for they know not...). The basic idea here could've been something special, but Michael Bay and whomever his Hollywood co-horts and associates are, turned this into ONE OF THE WORST BIG BUDGET HOLLYWOOD FILMS EVER!
Besides the crappy, by-the-numbers characters and plot, besides the "patriotic" nonsense (the rest of the world also threatened by Armageddon basically doesn't exist, or simply doesn't matter), virtually every shot, every scene, is so choppy, mostly extreme close ups (even when action scenes demand something else), and so cornball, that I wonder how anyone with half a brain could sit through this and actually find value in it. And "science?" Forgettabout it. This film's scientific value is non-existent. Even the special effects add up to zilch.
As I write this, I even find I'm wasting my time. Why waste time at all on pure filmic garbage? Hollywood and the "studios" have offered us a helluva lot of great films, despite obvious limitations and compromises. In my heart, I'd like to believe that in times of deep reflection and honesty, Michael Bay himself would even admit that this film is pure crap. But this is not a movie I have any "heart" for except for total contempt and the first time I saw it was enough. Further excerpts caught on replays on TV have only confirmed my original thoughts.
This movie makes "Independence Day," another pretty bad movie, look like a masterpiece. This is a 4 Tylenol special, and have on hand plenty of eye drops. Michael Bay should be banned from making any more films. There may be worse "filmmakers" out there, but none of them are making any money, and are probably working at your neighborhood 7-11.
A total mess...paint your wall and watch it dry. You'll enjoy yourself much more than watching this. |
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