Content
 | Billy Wilder is one of the great writer-directors. "Some Like It Hot," "Sunset Blvd.," "Stalag 17," and "Double Indemnity" remain critical and popular successes. "Kiss Me, Stupid" is his most-controversial film, and for good reason - it's one of the very worst films ever made by a respected major director. Had Wilder obeyed his basic artistic rule -- "What would Lubitsch do?" -- "Kiss Me, Stupid" would never have been made. "Stupid" is a "bookend" for "The Apartment." In the latter, a man figuratively prostitutes himself to get ahead. In the former, a man literally prostitutes his wife to the same end. You might conceivably make a genuinely funny or dramatically valid film about a woman debasing herself to advance her husband's career, but "Stupid" isn't it. "Stupid" opens appropriately with Dean Martin as a Las Vegas singer/comic, playing a charmless and obnoxious version of his boozing, womanizing alter ego. "Dino"'s humor is vulgar and unfunny, but the audience and four waiters laugh their heads off. A fifth waiter -- representing Wilder himself -- stands unsmiling, with an expression that clearly indicates what he thinks of Dino. (When the director uses a stand-in to tell the audience how they're supposed to view the proceedings, you _know_ that what follows is going to be, at the very least, heavy-handed and unsubtle.) Meanwhile, in Climax, Nevada (yes, there really is such a place), piano teacher Ray Walston is venting his jealousy at every man (including the milkman) who comes near his adorable wife (Felicia Farr). When not teaching piano, he's working with the local auto mechanic (Cliff Osmond) on songs (actually unpublished Gershwin-brothers garbage) they hope will make their fortune. Taking a forced detour on the way to LA, Dino stops to buy gas. Osmond sabotages his car and convinces him to spend the night at Walston's house, where Walston and Osmond can pitch their songs. Osmond suggests that Dino's uncontrollable libido can be turned to their advantage by letting the singer have sex with Farr (the ex-president of Dino's fan club!), thus guaranteeing the sale of their songs. (Note the cynical assumption that sex will procure the sale, regardless of the songs' quality.) There's no need to let Dino actually boff Farr, because she can be replaced with one of the "waitresses" at "The Belly Button," a local road house. After much arguing, Walston reluctantly agrees, and proceeds -- on their wedding anniversary! -- to cruelly kick his wife out of the house. By this time Osmond has returned with Polly the Pistol (Kim Novak). The next half-hour revolves around Walston trying to convince Dino that his "wife" is ready, willing, and able. But as Novak begins to take a sincere interest in Walston (she detests Dino and, though being paid, has no desire to hit the sack with him), Walston responds with his characteristic jealousy and kicks Dino out -- then goes to bed with Novak. (Yes, I know, none of this makes much sense.) Farr has meanwhile been getting drunk at "The Belly Button." She can't hold her liquor, so the madam suggests she sleep in Novak's trailer. Then Dino shows up, desperate for a piece of tail -- if he doesn't have sex every night, he has a severe headache the next day -- and is referred to the trailer by a bartender who doesn't know Novak is away. When Dino tells Farr the local piano teacher kicked him out, she realizes what's going on, and tries, with apparent success, to sell Dino on "Sophia," one of the dreadful songs Walston pitched. Farr winds up having sex with Dino, even though he doesn't know she's Walston's wife, and he leaves $500 for her services. When Novak comes home, Farr gives her the $500 so she can buy a car and look for a better life. Though understanding Walston's motives, Farr nevertheless wants to divorce him. As they're about to enter the lawyer's office, next to a hardware store with TV sets in the window, they hear Dino singing "Sophia" on his TV special, and prasing Walston and Osmond for their song-writing abilities. Walston admits he has no idea what's going on but he still loves her. Farr responds, "Kiss me, stupid." The End. "Stupid" repeats a theme that pervades much of Wilder's work -- people will do _anything_ for money, no matter how degrading. This is hardly a profound insight, but in his other films it's usually subordinate to some greater issue. Here the audience's faces are rubbed in it. "Stupid"'s unerring vulgarity is exceeded only by the illogic of its resolution. What's the point of Farr going to bed with Dino when she doesn't tell him who she is, and thus has no leverage to persuade him to buy the song? (Not to mention that Dino _pays_ for her services.) Are we supposed to believe she's "nobly" prostituted herself to help her husband? She hasn't. This negates what appears to be the intended point of the film, leaving us witnesses to a two-hour dirty joke with no punch line. Would "Stupid" have been better with Peter Sellers? No. Ray Walston's performance has been called "charmless," and why shouldn't it be? Are we supposed to feel sympathy for, or identification with, a pathologically jealous man who treats his wife despicably, then commits adultery? Her dalliance with Dino neither justifies nor explains anything -- other than the desire to "get it on" with her favorite singer. It can't be seen as "revenge" for her husband's infidelity, of which she knows nothing. "Stupid" is the perfect example of Oscar Wilde's dictum that "There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well-written or badly written." There's nothing wrong with "Kiss Me, Stupid"'s subject matter -- only the vulgar, witless, and _stupid_ way it `s handled. "Stupid" is neither a sophisticated sex farce, nor even a cynical view of American mores and values. Rather, it's Billy Wilder spewing bile at the human race -- and nothing more. |
